母国語と外国語 ４
さて、今回は当時Ａちゃんが書いてくれたエッセーをそのまま掲載いたします。
易しい英語で書いてありますので、Wisdom読者の皆様ならそのまま読めるのではないかと思いますが・・・いかがでしょうか。当時制作していた『Mini World』も現在の『English Zone』『ENGLINK』と同じく、「やさしい英語で楽しく読む→ホンモノの英語力アップ」というのがコンセプトでした。念のために中学高校で習わないような単語は一番下に訳をつけてありますので、出来れば和訳せずにそのまま読み進めてみてください。
-------------------------------------------------------------------
タイトル：
Losing Identity
リード：
Recently more and more Japanese mothers are sending their children to international schools, hoping that the kids will become fluent in English like Hikaru Utada. However, do those kids truly only benefit from the schools?
With the best intensions, A's bilingual mother decided to send her to an international school. After she has spent more than 12 years at American schools in Japan, she found she had chances that most other Japanese don't have. Now she speaks English much better than Japanese. But the experience also left her feeling a little out of step with Japanese society, as she relates.
本文スタート：
I used to feel so special.
I used to feel so smart.
I used to feel such pride for being able to speak two languages with ease.
Now, I’m just confused about my identity. I was born and raised here in Japan, but I don't feel Japanese beneath my skin. I am not complaining—I am not lost, but have stumbled upon the question of my identity after twelve years of American schooling.
Complete Japanese people like myself who attend international schools have to deal with living up to high expectations. We must understand Western culture in depth so that we don't fall back at school. But once we step into our homes, we have to change faces and show our Japanese side, so that we don't feel removed from our parents.
I used to enjoy knowing all the lyrics to the mainstream Japanese pop songs while also knowing all the songs on MTV's weekly "Top 20 Video Countdown." I used to love being the only one in the movie theater laughing at a joke in a Hollywood movie. In reality these things just don't get you anywhere.
Sure, you can float through high school pretending you are completely bilingual because you can talk about who-likes-who, and complain about your teacher, in both English and Japanese. But it doesn't really help in feeling at home in one culture.
All my life I've been hopping from American culture to Japanese culture, which meant throwing away parts of my Japanese character. I had to try to express myself like Americans so that my schoolmates would like me. At the same time I had to stay quiet on trains and buses like a good Japanese schoolgirl.
Unconsciously, I have created myself into an alien in my own home country. I just don't quite fit into the mainstream. I criticize Japanese people, TV programs and fashion trends (all the blonde hair and those big boots), and I don't even realize that I'm doing it.
Recently someone called me a "racist in my own country." I hadn't thought that what I was doing was wrong. I realized that I have been fooling myself all along to believe that just because I knew about Western cultures, I could be superior to other Japanese.
I used to feel so satisfied when people would stare in trains when I spoke in English to friends. But now I don't want to stand out anymore. I merely wish to be happy with being the same as everybody else in this country. So even if it means that I have to take extreme measures and become a boot-wearing, bleach blonde, I just might have to do that to feel truly Japanese. I want to be proud of being Japanese ― and when that happens, I hope my feet will feel rooted to this country's ground.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
＜単語帳＞
intention 意図、意思
out of step 調和しない、歩調が合わない
relate 関連づける
with ease 容易に
beneath... ～の下で
stumble よろめく、つまづく
fall back 後退する、落ちこぼれる
mainstream 主流の
hop 飛び回る
unconsciously 無意識に
alien 異邦人
racist 人種差別主義者
fool oneself 自分を誤魔化す、思い違いをする
merely ただ単に
extreme 極端な
bleach ブリーチ
root 根を下ろす、定着する
*big boots、boot-wearingなどは当時流行していた「厚底ブーツ」についての言及です。
Mini World No. 74 (c) Kozo System Inc.
Reproduction or republication is prohibited without written permission.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
リードにもありますが、この頃人気爆発中だった宇多田ヒカルさんですらテレビ出演中の態度などについて「日本人らしくない」等と批判されていたように覚えています。ともあれ、これがその当時Ａちゃんが持っていた素直な気持ちだったわけです。
（続きます）
最終更新時間 2005年04月27日 17:51
このエントリーのトラックバックURL:
http://www.blwisdom.com/mt/trackback/259
